feeling little elevated today though still under the weather, missing a pair of blue eyes and strong shoulders.

been thinking a lot today... a few close friends are leaving, moving, touring, travelling, journeying, adventuring, etc, and it saddens me because of course i will miss them deeply and not see them for months and months, but the symbolism of it is shaking me up cause i can't help to feel i'm wading in a stagnant puddle but i don't want to regret my decision to go back to school but i don't know i am starting to think that though external factors would prevent me from picking up and moving or travelling, i think internally i just don't have that spontaneous courage to just blindly let the wind take me wherever. i don't know.
there are still so many decisions i have to make this schoolyear and decision making isn't my forte, but knowing .when i am actually going to graduate is a good thing. bah, graduating six years after high school there is gonna be a huge ass motherfucking parrrrrrrrrrrty. word.