best man ever

my friend chris just spiritually envoked the world's supply of testostorone last night and became the best manlyman in the world. i seriously have never been prouder of anyone in my life. here is the scene- chris was at the computer shirtless listening to metallica while eating BEEEEEFFFFy chilli,drinking beer, looking at porno,talking to chicks, and watching nascar. i bet he flexed between each belch.all he needed was to scratch his sack and he would have been king. dude, if i were ever to be a man, i would do sexactly what he did every damn day.
let me tell you about his rise to power. it all started around the age of five.he was sleepwalking one cool spring night- wind gently kissing his mullet ("i never had a mullet, my mom just really loved mcgyver" goddamnit,chris,e veryone knwos mcgyver is the master mullet), walked to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator door, pulled out the chrispy drawer and released a deluge of piss on the lettuce. he never ate a green leafy since. how macho is that? i call him chrispy because of that incident, but now i am rethinking it. that is much too puss. he should be scar or something fierce.

anway, that is some of the best shit i have heard in a long time

blug, my voice is dissapearing and i have no idea why. tha tbugs me out. i may go to massachew to visit my laddddiees!!1 woooooo! booooze.

man, i pits stink and that is hot.
PIEce